Clarke's Third Law: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" Cheop's Law: "Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget" Jones'Motto: "Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate" Murphy's Constant: "Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value" Fifth law of Unrealibility: "To err is human, but to really foul up things requires a computer" Barth's Distinction: "There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't" Matz's rule of Medication: "A drug is a substance which, when injected in a rat, will produce a scientific report" Fagin's Rule on Past Prediction: "Hindsight is an exact science" Grossman's Lemma: "Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday" Vall's Axiom: "In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchical level" Troutman's First Programming Postulate: "Profanity is one language all programmers know best" Fett's Law of of the Lab: "Never replicate a successful experiment" Weinberg's Corollary: "An expert is a person who avoids the small errors, while keeping on to the grand fallacy" The first Snafu Equation: "Given any problem containing 'n' equations, there will always be 'n+1' unknowns" Hawkin's Theory of Progress: "Progress does not consist in replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consists in replacing a theory with one that is more subtly wrong" Second Law for Naive Engineers: "Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm" Watson's Law: "The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number of and significance of any persons watching it" Gilb's First Law of Unreliability: "Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable" Klipsten's Fourth Law of Engineering: "Any wire cut to length will be too short" Harper's Magazine Law: "You never find an article until you replace it" Second Law of Class Scheduling: "Class schedules are designed so that every student will waste the maximum of time between classes" Booker's Law: "An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction" Kauffman's First Law o Airports: "The distance to the gate is inversely proportional to the time available to catch your flight" The Principle Concerning Multi-functional Devices: "The fewer functions any device is required to preform, the more perfectly it can perform those functions" Second Law of Applied Terror: "When you review your notes before an exam, the most important ones will be illegible" Heisenberg's Principle of Investment: "You may know where the market is going, but you can't possibly know where it's going after that" Oak's First Principle of Lawmaking: "Law expands in proportion to the resources available for its inforcement" Parkinson's First Law of Bureaucracy: "Bureaucracy expands to meet the needs of an expanding Bureacracy" Skinner's constant: "The quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to or subtracted from the answer you get, givs you the answer you should have gotten" --------------------------------------------- Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money Work ---- = Power Time Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money: Work ---- = Knowledge Money Solving for Money, we get: Work --------- = Money Knowledge Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done. Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make. (Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.)